Thursday, July 5, 2012

Leader Blog - Dealing with Parents

It's Time!!

One month from now school will be back in session and we will start meeting again.  So I am going to blog on tips and advice for being an effective leader . . .

Your first obstacle is going to be parents (and for any parents reading this sorry in advance) . . . The boys are always ready and willing, they want to try new things, they want to go above and beyond, and they want to be your helpers and get the recognition.  Its getting the parent involved and physically there that is some times the problem. 

All parents have a lot going on and sometimes find it hard to get everything in (especially those of us with more then one child).  My advise is to work with them as much as you can without compromising the other boys and parents in the den.  Nothing causes problems faster then little Joey telling his mom that we have to change meetings for little Tommy.  Remember you are the leader and you need to stand behind whatever you decide, don't get bullied.

Meeting time is important but if there is a conflict in interest (the boy is in sports for a season) work with the parent.  They need to understand that worksheets or "homework" for the scout to do at home during whatever season maybe required so they can keep up.  HOWEVER, if they are going to miss every meeting all year long, it's time for the parent to make a choice and maybe we end up losing a scout.  But this leaves an opening for another boy who can be there and participate.

Outing and events are always a challenge.  Carpooling is a great compromise and any Scout from a Wolf Cub up to a Webelos can attend an event without a parent as long a two deep leadership is present.  Two adults (over the age of 21) for every 10 to 12 boys is acceptable.  Make sure you are clear on pick up and drop off details to avoid any confusion.

And finally getting parents involved or un-involved is a whole other situation.  There are three types of parents you are going to get . . .

1 - the un-involved parent, this is the parent who uses you as a babysitter.  They drop their son off and an hour later they wave at you from the door as they pick him up.  While this parent doesn't get "in the way" when you do need help for bigger projects, they are not there.  So how do you get these parents to help you?  You TELL them they need to be there.  Email or call them for a meeting reminder and blankly state, "all parents must attend"  You may come across bossy but you will get what you need and respect you deserve as the leader of their son's den.

2 - the over-involved parent, this is the parent that hoovers over you.  The stare you down in meetings and never hesitate to interrupt you when leading.  This is a difficult one to deal with, because you want them there, you want then involved, however you need to lead and at some point they need to back off and let go.  So what to do??  Best option here is to confront the parent one on one, without the scout present.  Just let them know that you need to be aloud to lead, if there are some personal issues that they happen to have with you then maybe they need to discuss it with the Cub Master.  Remember you are a volunteer and if at any time you have an issue with a parent that you don't feel comfortable with or can not control, there are other people to assist you.  Cub Master, Committee Chair, or even our council rep can help.

3 - the do-if-asked parent, these are your dream parents!  Luckily, 75% of scouting parents are this.  If you just ask for help they will be there for you.  Never be afraid to ask for help because a lot of time, they are waiting to help but just don't know where or what to do.

So there you go, words of wisdom from a leader entering into year four!

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